Compared to Knowing Christ...Everything else is a loss

So, I never thought of myself as a blogger – but while I am here, I hear so clearly from the Lord and want to share what I learned because I think it so valuable. What better way for me to do so than blogging and praying someone reads it :) The following is my heart for Thailand and for the lost…

I love my devotional. Smith Wigglesworth is, as Susie says, ‘an oldie but a goodie’.  Today was talking about Experiencing the Resurrection Power as stated in Phil 3. While this is a much quoted passage of scripture, I had never really dug into for myself. It is all about having no confidence in the flesh because the flesh leads you astray.  And over the past year I can definitely attest to that!

Philippians 3

^1-3Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! …we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Jesus Christ, put no confidence in the flesh.

Easier said than done. It is only when I am humbled before the Lord that I realize my lowliness and am able to fully put my confidence solely in Him. While I feel like I have continuously stated throughout this blog ‘it is only when you are humbled before Christ’, I have been reminded so many times that humility must happen before we are able to truly praise Him and truly learn what He is trying to teach us. Without Christ, I would not be here. Without Him taking on every sin anyone has ever and will ever commit, none of us would be here but in Hell for eternity. And that itself destroys any pride, leaving only a humble spirit. Unfortunately humility doesn't last but slowly over time we go right back to putting confidence in our own flesh. When we begin to let our pride blind us from where we belong, that is when we get into trouble.

^7-8But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage…

For those of you who don’t know Jesus Christ personally, I don’t know how to emphasize the beauty that lies in this verse.  Think of everything that you value – the things in life the mean the most to you and that make you the happiest…for me it is definitely my family; my incredible friends from Evangel, different camps and trips, and of course Hastings; the hopes of someday marrying an amazing man and having a family; working out and outward appearance; shopping, having a nice car or other nice new things; working hard and earning money; parties, having fun and laughing; my education and getting good grades; traveling; good food and quality coffee.  That’s probably much different from your list. BUT none of these even hold a candle to the joy that Jesus brings me! No significant other or family member or friend can offer the kind of love that Jesus does.

While it may seem silly or cliché to some of you to say that serving God is better than all of that – ask yourself this: do you really think I would choose to spend an entire semester in Thailand and then come back again this summer (my favorite time to spend on the lake, tanning, making lots of money, getting to go home and make memories with friends and family at home, etc.) UNLESS I THOUGHT THAT SERVING JESUS CHRIST IS THE MOST REWARDING AND IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE!! I come her with the hope of telling just one person about what this Phil 3:8 really means. I wish I could scream through a blog, ‘LISTEN CAREFULLY!’ because I promise, if you seek God with all your heart, mind and soul, you will find out exactly what I mean. There is nothing and no one that can bring as much joy and hope to your life as the message of salvation does.

that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his  death, ¹¹and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Smith says it best, “Look at the tremendous power of God behind our inheritance. First, we are adopted; then we receive an inheritance; then we are made coheirs with Jesus. God touches our souls…Do you want God? Do you want fellowship in the Spirit? Do you want to walk with Him? Do you desire communion with Him? Because everything else is no good! You want an association with God, and God says, ‘I will come in and dine with you, and you with Me’ Rev 3:20”. While it is hard to imagine having a coffee date at Starbucks with Jesus, that is exactly what this verse says He wants (maybe not necessarily in Starbucks :)

If we have faith in Jesus Christ, then we no longer have to rely on ourselves to figure it all out. He gives us a purpose. Imagine going through life with no goals, nothing to look forward to! How much more rewarding and fulfilling is life when you have a ______________?:

-job that you really enjoy or feel that you are making a difference

-a sport that you get to train for and demonstrate your talent and hard work

-a class that you are really good at and enjoy studying for, and always do well in

-a family to support and make sacrifices for, knowing you are making a difference everyday

-anything that gives you purpose – that makes each day bearable

Well a relationship with God not only makes things bearable – but it brings joy in the worst of times, it brings life to dullest days, it restores relationships, it makes life worth living, and allows you to live it to the fullest. He will give you power to overcome, the same power of Christ’s resurrection! Folks, this is not some Sunday School story anymore, it is a real life story full of power and redemption! And I want you to know the God I serve because He alone surpasses even the greatest things in life. 

Big Decisions

Lord Jesus – I thank you for this time here. For this time away from everything, so I can be truly close to you and hear your voice so clearly.

Every Saturday is wonderful! I take that back, everyday is uniquely wonderful. But Saturdays are our day of rest, our day off. Today I did nothing. And I don’t ever get the chance to do nothing – but it is really nice to be able to one day a week here. So, I got up, laid in bed playing Sudoku on my phone and eating oatmeal. Then I did a really hard workout – started Insanity today and then went for a run and ran some stairs. Now I am at Starbucks.

If you did not read my last entry, here is something you need to know before reading the rest:

…And a prayer request for me. God has opened up a huge door for me to come back to Thailand in December. I would be on a MAPS assignment to Bangkok, in charge of a group of APSAI Students (APSAI is the program that I went to Bangkok with last year for a semester of my college to teach English, while still continuing my studies). I would be able to study Thai language again, continue to build on the relationships I made in Bangkok the first time, as well as new relationships with local Thai people and churches, and have the opportunity to lead a group of college students in devotionals and their spiritual walk. I would love this job! I pray that I can go. The timing is as perfect as ever, since I will have just gotten done with my student teaching and cannot get a teaching job until the next fall. HOWEVER, the trick is that at some point I need to get a paying job and start to save money as well as pay off my student loans…

While most people might say, ‘oh your young, travel and do missions when you’re young and aren’t tied down’, it scares me. I want to be financially responsible and get a job – but more than that I want to be obedient to God. So, I know if he wants me in Bangkok, He will provide everything, both finances for the MAPS assignment as well as to pay off student loans. I don’t know how or where it will come from, but I know He will work miracles. He always does. But that does not ease my nerves! So please pray that I will be obedient to whatever he calls me to do, and that he will miraculously provide money for me if I am supposed to go. Let the money come in quickly so I can focus on the trip and the spiritual aspect of it rather than worrying about the finances.

So, since I was worried about that here is what God spoke to me as I was reading my devotional about being “Equipped for Service”.

Romans 12:1-13 is a very familiar and favorite scripture of mine. My Bible study leader during high school, who is an incredible woman, encouraged us to memorize this passage. But when I read it this time, God applied it to the current ‘worry of the week’ and really confirmed that I should take this MAPS assignment.

¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.

            I know that I have been called to missions. I love it! When I am here, it feels right and I know I have been created to do this! So when I read this verse I know it is telling me I need to forget about my selfish desires back in America for a time, and come and serve. I need to lay myself down and pick up the cross and follow Him. And for some reason, He keeps leading me to Thailand. So unless He tells me otherwise, I am going to continue to pursue this APSAI position. As soon as I read this, I heard Him clearly saying that I need to offer body as a living sacrifice and serve him in missions in Thailand.

²Do not conform to the ways of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will.

            Again, I felt him shouting at me through this and urging me that I am not like the world. I never will be, nor am I supposed to be. And while I have had it ingrained in my mind that I am supposed to graduate college in 4 years and get a job – that is not the plan he has for me. For me, I am supposed to keep serving in Thailand. As much as this excites me, again it makes me nervous. Nervous because I don’t feel like I am being responsible and nervous because I don’t have control. But, I suppose that is not up to me. So I will renew my mind from the things of this world for the rest of my time in Thailand, and I will do just what he commands. This way, I can test and approve of His perfect plan for my life.

^4-For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is…serving, serve! If your gift is teaching, teach!...If your gift is giving, give generously!!

            So, my part of the body is to serve and to teach. I am called for this time in my life (and maybe forever) to serve the people of Thailand. And I am called to use my skills to teach them English and befriend them, and hopefully giving many the opportunity to hear of the Good News. However, the rest of you have also been given gifts to make the Church body function properly! So – what is your spiritual gifting? What is your ‘part’ in making the Church run smoothly and properly? Are you using this spiritual gifting? I ask this because many times in my life, I would have had to reply no to this question. But when I can say yes, that is when I am the most joyful and living life to the fullest because I am serving in the part that God has specifically made for me.

            I have been given the word humility over and over and over in the past year. So apparently God must be wanting me to work on this area. The opposite of humility is pride. So, even though I hate to be dependent on eopel, and I really don’t like to ask for help, and I really hate to ask for money, God has called me to be a missionary. Missionaries typically spend ¼ of their time iteneratiring and asking for financial support. Ha! So, I think once again, God is trying to working on my pride and keeping me humble. So, I also have to ask, who of you are called to give, and give generously? And not that I am asking you to give to me, but we must all do what we are called to keep the Church working properly. So I will rely on those called to give, and since those called to give are usually not able to go on mission trips, are reliant on me to spread the Gospel. They are both equally important – just different.

I must once again thank God for allowing me this day off and this refreshing day of soaking in His word. Thank you Lord for being a personal God and speaking to us and being specific. I pray that God blesses you as you read this and that you will be faithful to whatever ‘part’ of the body of the church God has called you to. 

God is so good!

There were so many amazing things that happened this week, I cannot begin to explain all of them. I was going to write this on my blog, but one of the things I want to share with you involves a few of my friends here that might read my blog. So, here are a few things that I would love you to pray about.

-I wish I could say more but a girl who we've grown really close to came to church for the first time this Sunday. Please pray for her - I know God is working in her life and I could see the need for something more in her eyes on Sunday.

-I am somewhat scared to share my faith as many people are. And just because I have been on a few mission trips does not mean I am a pro. So please pray that God will give me the words to say and when to say them, as well as who to say them to. I always pray for opportunities to talk about my testimony of God’s grace, but it is not always easy when those times arise.

-However, I was teaching one-on-one with a student recently and was able to talk about my favorite book. So, I got up the courage to talk about the Bible and that opened the door to more conversation about God. Please pray for her. I don’t know if she understood, because she does not speak very good English, but pray for more opportunities and also that every time God will speak to her and help her to understand the meaning of His love. Every Wednesday, the missionary has a discussion group about Christianity and it focuses on a certain topic such as prayer. I am talking to her about going this Wednesday, so pray that she will have the desire to go!

-I have established a really good relationship with a girl who lives close to me. She doesn't go to church or the English center but we met near my hotel. I pray that I can continue to hang out with her, and build a good relationship with her. I pray that the there will be a moment that I can invite her to church or share the love of God with her. Like many Thai people I meet, she is the sweetest thing. She is so precious and deserves to hear the Good News. They are searching for something, and I pray that one day they will all turn to God for fulfill that emptiness. She is going through a hard time right now, so I know she is really sad and lonely. I pray that myself, but mostly God, can be there to comfort her.

-And a prayer request for me. God has opened up a huge door for me to come back to Thailand in December. I would be on a MAPS assignment to Bangkok, in charge of a group of APSAI Students (APSAI is the program that I went to Bangkok with last year for a semester of my college to teach English, while still continuing my studies). I would be able to study Thai language again, continue to build on the relationships I made in Bangkok the first time, as well as new relationships with local Thai people and churches, and have the opportunity to lead a group of college students in devotionals and their spiritual walk. I would love this job! I pray that I can go. The timing is as perfect as ever, since I will have just gotten done with my student teaching and cannot get a teaching job until the next fall. HOWEVER, the trick is that at some point I need to get a paying job and start to save money as well as pay off my student loans…

While most people might say, ‘oh your young, travel and do missions when you’re young and aren’t tied down’, it scares me. I want to be financially responsible and get a job – but more than that I want to be obedient to God. So, I know if he wants me in Bangkok, He will provide everything, both finances for the MAPS assignment as well as to pay off student loans. I don’t know how or where it will come from, but I know He will work miracles. He always does. But that does not ease my nerves! So please pray that I will be obedient to whatever he calls me to do, and that he will miraculously provide money for me if I am supposed to go. Let the money come in quickly so I can focus on the trip and the spiritual aspect of it rather than worrying about the finances.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Humility: A modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness

As I sit again in ‘my perfect day’ place, sipping Starbucks coffee and indulging in a Blueberry Muffin, I am again reminded of the word humility.  I believe there is a reason this word has remained tattooed on my heart since I left Bangkok. This word and all its meaning came flooding back to me as I walked on the campus of CBC for orientation, as I flew by myself across the world in hopes of telling at least one person the message of salvation, and as I read the book Humility by Andrew Murray. This book was given to me as a gift right before I left, ironic? I don’t think so.

While I could attempt to summarize what Murray states about humility, it would do no justice to the best attempt to define what humility looks like. While this book may only be 100 pages, each one is loaded with potent and humbling statements. It has taken me several days to finish the preface and Ch 1. I would recommend reading it, but here are some of my thoughts on his points [warning: you will mostly likely have to read some of these statements several time in order to grasp their impact]:

Jesus, the Son of God, the Almighty One, the only human to ever live a sinless life, is the prime example of viewing oneself as lowliness. Therefore we must attempt to find common ground with the One who found his glory in taking the form of a servant.

One could attempt to define humility as the place of entire dependence on God. Therefore, it is the only soil in which grace roots. The lack of it sufficiently explains every defect and every failure. Then, pride – the loss of this humility – is the root of every sin and evil.

If we acknowledge this, then we regard nothing so dangerous as pride.

But study the character of Christ until your souls are filled with the love and admiration of His lowliness.

Jesus came to bring humility back to earth, to make us partakers of it, and to save us. He humbled himself in heaven so much in order to become a man, and became obedient to God unto death.

HIS HUMILITY IS OUR SALVATION. HIS SALVATION IS OUR HUMILITY.

The secret to Jesus’ blessedness is humility and nothingness, therefore leaving God free to be all.

Because of our fallen state, we have nothing to offer God. We deserve to spend eternity away from Him, burning in hell! But Christ paid the price for us on the cross. So the only way through which we can return to our right place is through coming to Christ in humility.

If we look at it this way, we realize absolutely nothing is more natural, nothing is more beautiful, and nothing is more blessed than to be nothing. This allows God to be all.

“They shall cast their crowns before the throne, saying: Worthy are you, our Lord and our God, to receive the glory and the honor and the power; for you did create all things, and because of your will they were, and were created” ~Rev 4:11

How often do you think about humbling yourself? It does not come naturally; but through prayer, faith, practice, obedience, and a desire it is possible. Our call to humility is rarely regarded in the Church because its true nature and importance have been too little thought about. But look at it this way, humility is simply the sense of entire nothingness which both allows us to see all that God truly is and which comes when we make the way for God to be all. Just acknowledge the truth of his position.